The Centre

A mockumentary set in St Bartholomew's community centre in Dublin's Northside.

The Centre is finally going on-line and as Teresa prepares to launch its’ first Web Site Nuala is in charge of taking photos for the ‘Meet The Barty Army’ Staff Biogs page, but Burkha-wearing Grainne’s 360 degree veil proves an interesting photographic challenge.

Week 3 at The Centre and semi-celebrity Amanda Menton holds her first “Women in Business” all day seminar when course incumbent Pam is revealed to be not a freaky cat fanatic but an undercover tabloid reporter with a whole new take on who really killed Max “the Mandroid” Murphy.

The Centre is Celebrating ‘National Bladder Control Week’ with a selection of Continance Themed events and when Amanda Menton is duped into eating Kathleen’s ‘Bladder Control Special’ Hake and Kidney pie, it makes her violently ill and prompts her to call the environmental health dept. Threatened with the closure of her beloved canteen, Kathleen makes the Environmental Health Officer an offer he can’t refuse.

Canteen Kathleen foolishly tries to save money by allowing Bernie to source the Café’s weekly meat order – half price. It turns out to be a 40,000 slices of Billy Roll/’Happy Face’ Luncheon meat which Kathleen must creatively off load on the customers without alerting Teresa to the problem.

Fieldstown is hit with a freak Hurricane and The Centre’s annual Free Family Funday is a washout.