Matthew Jayson Cwern

as Narrator

as Ritual Leader

as Leo

as George

as Lieutenant John Clark Ely / Private William Wendt (voice) (as Matt Jayson)

as Vinny

as Charlie

as Carlos

as Tired Roman (voice)

as Faris Bandak

as Abner

as Antonio Blair

as LAFD Liaison Bill Jenks

as Jerry

as McTeer

as Cop

as Arthur

as Uri

as Lars Owens

as Male TSA Agent

as (voice)

as Driton Abazi

as EMT

as Leo the Paparazzo

as Handsome Cool Guy

as Edgar Stump

as Train Passenger