Jim Jackman

as Kidnapper

as Santa Claus (uncredited)

as Principal Vegas

as Melvin

as Dentist / Boiler Room Guy #1 / Crunchy / Lieutenant (voice)

as Lucky Brassiere / Joey Carbone / Thumb in Stall

as Jish / Nice Old Lady / Crotchety Fisherman (voice)

as (voice)

as Humpy / Baker / Brother

as Detail Supervisor

as Police Chief / Criminal #1 / Terrified Man (voice)

as Dentist / Boiler Room Guy #1 / Baby and Sex Change Barker / 'I Can't Swim!' (voice)

as Nervous Guy

as Crunchy / Lieutenant (voice)

as Pig (voice)

as Shorty

as Desperate Mailman

as Landlord

as Mike Milken

as Party Guest

as Major Asshole

as Plugsy (voice)

as Orderly #1

as Security Guard

as Rutherford B. Hayes

as Bus Driver

as Hockey Fan

as Venetta

as Paul

as Man

as Man on Bus